Some Thoughts from 2025...

Bit of a different one this month, which may or may not be interesting for you (I hope it is!)... I was looking back on a few thoughts I shared in my monthly newsletter last year. I thought I'd collate them here - have a look through. Treat it as a buffet, not a set meal... some of this will resonate with you, some won't... take what you like and leave what doesn't fit you and your life...

By the way, if you enjoy this and want a monthly dose, you can sign up for my newsletter here (no spam, ever).

My Favourite Book from 2025...

Recently, I've been listening to a fascinating audiobook... it's called "The Big Leap" by Gay Hendricks... I've actually listened to it twice! 

To me, it feels like this is a book that EVERYONE should read (or listen to!). 

Why?! 

Well, he talks about this 'Upper Limit Problem'... and you may have seen this in your life if you've ever self-sabotaged (all of us have at some point!).

Maybe that's through over-eating, drinking too much or causing an unnecessary argument. Don't feel bad... we all have an upper limit. 

Now, the joy of knowing this comes when you discover what your upper limit is... because then you can expand it! 

That's enough for now but do have a read if you're intrigued to learn more. 

Challenging Yourself - What's your 'frisbee'?!

As some of you may know, I have a 5-year old sheepdog-cross called Oso (Spanish for 'Bear'). Every morning when he hears my alarm go off, he starts getting excited... not to see me, but because he knows that he's soon going to be reunited with his beloved frisbee and go out for his morning walk... 

When I let him upstairs, he runs around like a headless chicken making all kinds of noises! I get ready and we go to the local park where I throw his frisbee for him... sometimes he catches it, sometimes he just chases it, and he never brings it back to me (my fault for getting a collie, not a retriever!).

Anyway, the whole point of this is that it got me thinking lately, "What's my 'frisbee' right now?".

What gets me up every day so excited to start the day? 

I love working with clients and I find Psychology and the brain endlessly fascinating. 

But lately, I've felt like I need to do something extra... 

I enjoy learning on a daily basis through books, podcasts and online training. But I realised that I want to enrol on a new course, and so soon I will be starting some new training to add to what I currently offer (more to come on this in future emails). 

That's my 'frisbee' right now... that's what's giving me energy and excitement at the moment. 

This can and does change - it's a continuous learning process, not just a set and forget. 

That's why it's important to review on a regular basis, at least every few months, if not monthly. 

So, what's your 'frisbee' right now?

Motivation doesn't work for me... but discipline does.

I often have people coming to me to increase their motivation for any number of things... exercise, eating healthier, getting moving towards their goals. 

The problem is... MOTIVATION DOESN'T WORK! 

The only time motivation can work is in the SHORT TERM.

Maybe you've been motivated to get to the gym 5x week before that big holiday?

But after the holiday, and for the LONG TERM, discipline must take over.

What do I mean by this? 

Well, let me give you an example from my own life. 

I NEVER feel motivated to do weights... but I do them twice a week, every week. 

I NEVER feel motivated to clean my fish tank, but I do it once every two weeks. 

I NEVER feel motivated to clean my teeth, but I do it twice a day, every day. 

Why do I do these things even though I'm not motivated to do them? 

Because I've learnt to use DISCIPLINE rather than motivation. 

Why is this so much better? 

Because motivation waxes and wanes depending on any number of things... how we slept, how hungry we are, what the weather is like, what we heard on the news etc etc etc. 

But DISCIPLINE is a muscle that you can grow. 

Every time you use it, you grow that muscle, and you BECOME  a disciplined person. 

Every time you go to the gym/ clean the house/ walk your dog when you really can't be bothered, you show yourself that you can do it, even when you don't feel 100%. 

If you relied on MOTIVATION, it never would have happened. 

What helps me to build this Discipline Muscle?

I absolutely love using a habit tracking app (I use the 'habitbull' app but there are also many others available)... every time I log that habit (e.g. weights/ yoga/ learning Spanish), I increase my percentage, making me want to keep doing it. 

If I don't, I know that my percentage will drop. 

This, in turn, keeps me MOTIVATED to be DISCIPLINED to keep performing my habits! 

So, what's one thing you're going to be more disciplined with this week?

All or Nothing Thinking... Give Yourself Some Leeway

So, last month I talked about trying to focus on discipline rather than motivation when setting positive new goals and habits. 

Now, this is all well and good, but what about those times when something happens and you can't stick to your habits? For example, you get ill or injured and you can't go to the gym... when all those great plans you had fall by the wayside? 

Like many people, a cognitive distortion I sometimes fall into is 'all or nothing thinking' (also known as 'black and white thinking'). I've fallen for this in the past when I couldn't do a gym session to my full ability due to a small injury, so I didn't bother going. 

It can also be seen in many people around their diet... maybe they're eating well, and then they have a piece of cake and think "I ate cake, so my diet is ruined for the whole week. I might as well binge now." 

How can we combat this thought process that so many of us fall into? 

We can embrace the 70% workout or the good-enough diet. That means that if we achieve something to 70% of our full ability, then we can still be happy. Not that we aren't aiming for 100%, but it gives us some leeway just in case. By doing this over time, we can learn to be chuffed when we hit 100%, but also pretty happy when we only hit 70%.

 I like remembering this quote when I fall into 'all or nothing thinking'... 

"Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.” Voltaire 

We All Bloom At Our Own Pace...

I love many Japanese philosophies and idioms - I've recently been thinking a lot about 'Oubaitori'.

It means "cherry, plum, peach, and apricot" and symbolises the idea that everyone blooms and grows at their own unique pace and time. 

It discourages self-comparison and encourages self-acceptance, much like how spring flowers blossom in their own distinct ways. 

It's a philosophy encouraging focus on personal growth, embracing one's own journey, and recognising the inherent beauty and value in individual timelines and differences, rather than measuring success against others. 

Sometimes, it can feel like the modern world is rigged against 'Oubaitori'... what, with social media, constant news and whatsapp group chats(!), it can feel impossible to escape the constant comparison trap. 

But it can be done... maybe we can't totally escape it, but we can minimise it's harmful effects. 

Here are some ways I've tried to limit social comparison in my life:

I don't watch the news. 

I do listen to a weekly podcast that sums up the 7 biggest stories from the week... and I find that is plenty of news for 7 days!

I also minimise social media use as much as possible... I recently deleted Instagram as I wasn't using it and checking it felt like an extra chore. 

I have a personal Facebook page, mainly for the messaging function, and Linkedin... that's more than enough social media for me! 

I've found that these things really help to minimise social comparison... we can't stop comparing, it's an evolutionary mechanism that we do both consciously and unconsciously. 

But we can control our behaviours...

What is one thing that you can do to minimise social comparison going into the rest of 2026?

Ready to Take the Next Step?

Ready to explore how hypnotherapy can help you achieve lasting change?

Click Here to Book your free, no-obligation Initial Consultation today.

Not quite ready for a consultation? 

Subscribe to my newsletter and receive Free Hypnotherapy Soundtracks to Ease Anxiety and Help You Sleep at night!

You'll also receive my monthly newsletter containing lots of free tips and useful information. And no spam, ever!

Click here to Sign Up and get your Free Soundtracks!

Still have questions about hypnotherapy or my services? 

Find answers to common questions on my FAQ page - Click Here.